Braided ponytail. Protective styling for the summer.

Braided ponytail. Protective styling for the summer.

New hair, who dis?!

It’s been 5 long years since I’ve gotten my hair braided. The last time I did, it was so painful, I vowed to never braid my hair again. Well, you know how the saying goes, never say never.

Back in May, I went to a Cinco de Mayo party and saw are girl with the prettiest lemonade braids I have ever seen. Hers were almost as nice as Beyonce’s. I stopped her and inquired about where she got her hair braided. She happily showed me her stylist’s Instagram page and I clicked follow right away. I followed along for a few weeks, trying to decide what style I wanted to get and ended up falling in love with the braided ponytail. It’s pretty long so at night, I wrap it into a bun and use my silk scarf to keep it neat.

I’m so thankful that it was not torture this time around to get my hair braided. It actually didn’t hurt much. There was a lot of tension to actually pull it up into the ponytail, and also tension to move my head and wash my face for a few days. Ha! But that’s expected. There wasn’t any pain though. I plan on keeping these bad boys in for 6 weeks (if I can keep it neat for that long). I am already plotting my next braided style! When you find someone that can braid and not rip your hair and edges out, you want to go back.!

Hair braided by Ta’Shara. If you’re in the Charlotte area, check her out! She’s amazing and was so gentle with my hair. Her name is JustGorgeousBraids on Instagram.

with love,

Nicky 💕

LIFE UPDATE: I got married!

LIFE UPDATE: I got married!

Hey ya’ll! Yep, its true. I tied the knot! I married bae, my boo, best friend, my honey, my babe. Last month, we said I DO!!

We wanted to get married near the water. A lake, the beach, something like that. We chose a hotel near our home because they have a beautiful lake and deck outside, perfect for wedding ceremonies. It was a very small and intimate wedding that included our families and very close friends. Since the wedding ceremony was an outside one, I prayed to the weather God’s to keep the rain away. Well, they heard me. There was no rain, but there was wind. Ha-ha! It wasn’t terrible, but it made it a little chilly. We all braved the wind and exchanged vows in what I felt was an absoutly perfect ceremony.

I wanted to find a special way to honor my mom, even though she is no longer here with me.  I framed my favorite picture of her, and it was placed on a chair in the front row, right next to my dad. During the reception, when they announced the parents of the bride, my dad walked in holding my mom’s picture as well. The officiant suggested the picture and it was the perfect way to honor her. I got to see her smiling face on my special day.

img_4415-e1524589885315.jpgI was uncertain how to wear my hair for a while. I thought about blow drying it, wearing a wig, or getting a really long ponytail. I decided not to do any of that, but instead to where my natural hair out, in all it’s glory. I did a braid out the night before and had voluminous waves. I added a sparkly hair clip to add shimmer to match my dress. I kept my makeup simple as well. I wanted to really look like myself in our pictures. You know that cake face and heavy contour to the point of looking unrecognizable? Yeah, that’s not my thing. 

img_4453We went on a really quick honeymoon to Mexico. It was perfect! We relaxed on the beach for several days, ate yummy food, listened to music and had the time of our lives.

I’m excited to walk through life with my hubby!




My super glam bridal shower

My super glam bridal shower



According to my wedding wire app, my wedding is in 23 days! Oh my goodness! Every bride-to-be deserves a friend that will pour love into them, be supportive, and offer to help in any way that they can. I’m grateful to have a friend like that!

My heart is so full. My friend Sharon threw me the most beautiful and glam bridal shower over the weekend. If it was not for her, I would not have had a bridal shower at all. For several months, she planned, organized and created the most beautiful day for me. She hosted the shower, and was also the photographer and videographer!! I think she should be awared the MVP friendship award for 2018, don’t you? Oh, I also need to mention that she did all of this while being in an out of a cast for several months because she had surgery on her foot! Talk about d-e-d-i-c-a-t-i-o-n.

She also surprised me and planned for my fiancé to attend the last hour of the shower, hence the ugly cry face. I almost messed up my makeup!

My friend Lisa made a wedding dress cupcake and adorned them in my mom’s favorite color, turquoise. You’ll see that my nails are also this color and I’m wearing my mom’s turquoise ring as well.

Enjoy the pics and my outfit details are listed below.








Shop my outfit. Links below. 

Dress: My dress is from boohoo. It fits wonderfully, however, it has a really low slit in the front, so I wore a camisole underneath. Had this been a night affair, I would not have worn a shirt underneath!

Shoes: My shoes are INC. and were purchased from Macy’s.

Navy Faux Fur Coat. I purchased my coat from forever 21 about a year ago, however, it’s no longer on their site. I’ve listed a similar style below.




With love,




My trip to Puerto Rico + why taking a break is vital for your sanity.

My trip to Puerto Rico + why taking a break is vital for your sanity.


It’s the last Saturday of 2017!! If you celebrate Christmas, I hope you had a good one. I contemplated taking down my Christmas decorations today, but will wait until January 2nd like I normally do.

So, I ‘ve been meaning to post my trip to PR for months now, but never got around to doing it.  I went there this past summer.

My friend Sharon had always dreamed of exchanging vows on the beach in PR. After she got engaged, she decided to make that dream a reality. She asked me to be her bride’s maid and I was happy and looking forward to sharing in her big day. As it got closer to the trip, my mom’s health had declined so much, that I decided I was going to have to miss not only the trip to PR but more importantly, the vow exchange. My friend understood that this was a difficult time for me. She told me she would understand if I chose not to travel during such a terrible time. I really appreciated her understanding and compassion.

Then, my mom actually passed away. I shared that story on the blog already. If you missed it and you’re interested in catching up, please click here.

As you can imagine, after losing a loved one, I wasn’t in the mood to laugh and be around people at all. My fiancé insisted that I go to PR to try to clear my mind. After wrestling with the idea for a few weeks, I decided that going would be a good thing for me. I would get to see my friend exchange her vows, visit someplace I’d never been and just have a break and nice change of scenery. At that time, I was in some sort of grief trance that had taken over my mind, heart and spirit. I am glad I pushed myself to go.

We stayed in San Juan. The weather was absolutely perfect the entire time that I was there. It was warm during the day and cooler at nights. The vow exchange was dreamy, and I cried as my friend experienced one of the happiest days of her life.

Our hotel was literally on the beach. We stayed at the Courtyard Marriott Isla Verde. Our room overlooked the water and the customer service was 5 star. Oh, there was also a casino downstairs, a bar, live music, and a restaurant.

The food around town was delicious! I’m Caribbean, so I already have an innate love for beans, rice, and plantains. I ate way too much of it and enjoyed every second. I just couldn’t get enough! We also did a lot of fun things. Here are some of them:

  1. We went on a tour bus through the city of San Juan.
  2. Went on a boat ride.
  3. Accidently walked into a peaceful protest in front of the governor’s house. I wish I knew what the protest was about.
  4. Partied the night away at La Placita. It was one long block filled with multiple bars, lounges and clubs. We went in and out of various ones, dancing and having a great time.
  5. Went on a really dope tour of the Bacardi Distillery and learned all about how the company started, and how their famous drinks are made.

Waiting for the boat to arrive in downtown San Juan IMG_1305IMG_1303

Bacardi Distillery Tour IMG_1306 copy-2

Sugar Cane at the Bacardi DistilleryIMG_1302-2


Bus tour through San JuanIMG_1265

That’s the bride in the middle on her big day, along with my friend Lisa. IMG_1285

Though I was in the very beginning stages of grieving the loss of my mom, this trip was vital for my sanity.  I had been spending my days and nights in my bedroom, crying. For 3 days I got to experience a new environment and was out of my sad reality.  Though I was feeling sadness, I was also able to experience a little bit of joy each day we were there. I tried hard to just focus on my friend and her special day, and experiencing PR together with my fiancé since neither of us had been there before. Also, I had quiet time with God. On the beach, I prayed and asked God to help with the pain I was experiencing internally. Overall, it was well worth the trip and from a sanity stand point, that short trip might have saved me.

Have you guys been to PR? If so, do tell! I look forward to more traveling in 2018 and have started the planning already. On the list for the upcoming year is, California, NYC, either Paris or Jamaica and possibly DC!

Courtyard Marriott Isla Verde

Bacardi Distillery 

With Love,




My mom died

My mom died


Hey y’all. It’s been a really long, long time. So, the title sums it up. She is gone. My mom passed away. I have written and re-written this blog post 100 times, struggling with what to say and how much to share. I decided to just speak my truth and speak from my heart.

For those of you that have been following me for some time, you know that my mom had cancer. She was diagnosed with uterine cancer in 2013. It spread to her lungs in 2014. She fought long and hard to live and by 2015, she was in remission, or so we thought.

Last Christmas, my mom came to visit me for the holidays. Her plan was to stay for just one month and return to her home in NYC in late January. Since she was only supposed to stay for a short while, I immediately starting the holiday fun. We went to plays, the movies, ballet shows, dinner, church, every where that I knew she would enjoy. She was full of joy and so energetic. I also got engaged within the first week of her visit. She was actually in the house with me when my fiance proposed. We hugged, jumped for joy, and we both cried. She was very happy.

Two weeks into her visit, right before bed, she had a mild seizure and my fiancé and I rushed her to the hospital. We received horrific news. She had a seizure because THE. CANCER. SPREAD. TO. HER. BRAIN. You read that right.  I almost lost my footing in the hospital. I screamed, cried and told the doctors they had made a terrible mistake. I asked them to run more tests. Well, they did and again, the diagnosis was the same. Cancer to the brain. Multiple lesions (spots) to be exact. My world slowed down and I was in complete disbelief. I told my mom that I didn’t want her to go back to NYC, instead I wanted her to stay with me long-term so that I could be with her and take care of her. She agreed and our lives changed instantly. Mom left her life behind in NY and my home was her new home.

The doctors told us that all they could do to try to stop the growth of the cancer was aggressive radiation to the brain for 10 days. That was it. Because of the number of spots on the brain, they could not do surgery to remove the spots. There were just too many of them. Also, Chemo therapy would not help because Chemo cannot penetrate the brain due to a protective shield. Have you ever heard of that? I sure didn’t.

After radiation was complete, she was given medication to try to help prevent further seizures. The medication helped for a very short while. Within weeks, mom had more seizures, was hospitalized a few times, became weaker, confused and was no longer the mom I had known all of my life.  She was slow in her movement and processing skills, childlike, quiet, helpless and her overall health declined. I loved on her as hard as I could. I prepared all of her meals, made sure she ate, gave her her medicine around the clock, took her back and forth to the bathroom throughout the day and helped with everything she needed. She just couldn’t manage her own life anymore. It was traumatic to witness this decline in her health. It all happened so fast. It hurt like hell because no matter how comfortable I had made her for the day, she still had brain cancer and I could not change that. I could not help her, or save her.

She was getting weaker and weaker by the day, eating less, moving less, talking less and comprehending less. The decline was rapid. I was terrified because I witnessed this on a daily basis and there was nothing that I could do to help her. I was in denial of how bad things were getting. I kept thinking, hoping, praying that she would get better and fully recover, just like she did the last time the cancer spread. But aggressive cancer to the brain is very different. On one of our hospital visits, several doctors pulled me aside and told me that my mom did not have long to live. They predicted that she would not live longer than 4-6 months, if that. I didn’t believe them, but they were right, she didn’t have long at all.

Despite my constant prayers for healing, despite my mom reading her bible everyday and saying her own prayers for healing, she became more ill. The confusion and helplessness was a constant and she started to experience terrible back pain and headaches. One night, she had what I thought was just another seizure, but it was her last seizure. Just like with the other seizures, the ambulance came, took her to the hospital for treatment, but this time she didn’t wake up. She never woke up. She was completely unresponsive.

I wanted her to come back home with me like she always did, but the doctors sat me down and told me that was not possible this time. The very next day, she was taken from the hospital  to a hospice facility near my home. I still thought she would wake up, get better and come home with me. But she did not. For 9 long days, she laid in the hospice bed, completely unresponsive with no food and water.

Her organs began shutting down and each day was worse than the previous day. She experienced kidney failure, her heart started to beat slower and slower, her skin became bruised in certain areas due to poor blood circulation, her ability to take in oxygen decreased and she just laid there day after day, dying slowly. I was so numb during those 9 days. I was by her side each day, still hoping for a miracle, crying, praying and in complete disbelief. The hospice nurse told me that I needed to say goodbye to her and tell her to let go…. I was thinking, heck no! I’m not saying goodbye to my mother! But I eventually did because I knew the end was near. My son, fiancé and I all took turns talking to her privately and telling her how much we cared for her. It was the most awful experience I have ever had to endure.

A few more days went by and 3 days before my birthday, she took her last breath at 3am, Saturday May 20th, 2017.

I have been riddled with pain and sorrow. My precious mother, who was so gentle and kind is no longer here with me. She was the first person I ever loved, deeply and truly. I no longer have a mother in the flesh. No more birthdays to celebrate with her. No more mother’s days with her. No more talking to her on the phone every single night. No more listening to her stories about what she did and ate for the day. No more. All I have now are pictures and memories. I miss her. I miss her voice and her smile.

Cancer is scary and brutal. My mom fought to survive uterine cancer, and when it spread to the lungs, she did the same. But the cancer on the brain was different, violent, swift and wicked.

I took care of her for 5 months and I cherish all of the moments she was with me. The sound of her voice as she laughed while watching her favorite shows, her playing with my dog, talking with my fiancé about sports, being overjoyed to speak with my son when he got home from school, talking to me about all the celebrity gossip she heard on Wendy Williams and TMZ- those were the last and fondest memories before she passed. Oh, I am going to counseling, and it has helped.

This will be my very first holiday ever in life without my mom. We have spent them all together. She was with me last Christmas, right in my living room, opening gifts. This Christmas, she is no longer here.

I encourage you all to take a hard long look at your lives. At any moment, things can change. Try to live your best life NOW, right now. Be good to yourself and love those around you. Each day that we are here and able to wake up, get out of bed disease free is an absolute blessing. I know it will be a long road ahead of healing and dealing with this heavy loss, but I have no other choice but to try to live and continue to make my mom proud.

Before my mom passed, she told me she admired me because I was brave. Me, the girl who is anxious, sometimes insecure and often afraid, my mom saw me as a brave soul. Hearing that really igniting something in me. It made me want to live the rest of my life that way- being brave, continuing to take risks, and pushing through the hard times. I will continue to make my mom proud. She made me the woman that I am today and I am forever grateful that God chose her to be my mom.

Miss Jenn as she was affectionately called- you will be eternally loved and missed. Rest in peace my love. .

With love,